There are many ways to create the atmosphere that makes you feel happy, content and filled with energy.  Try to have at least one room that satisfies your senses.  And remember that it is often the little things that make the biggest difference in how you feel.  Smell is a big one for setting a tone or mood as to how you feel.  If you walk in to a room and love how it smells, or it reminds you of something pleasant, your mood shifts and lifts.  If that room has fabrics that are pleasant to your touch, even better.  Like a soft throw or blanket, or a favorite chair.  If the colors in the room are pleasing and you can fill it with sounds or music you love (even if that sound is nothing but pure quite), fantastic.  Now for the last one, taste.  Make whatever it is that make you feel good.  Is it coffee, hot chocolate, a cup of tea or even a glass of wine?  Or perhaps it is chocolate or popcorn.  Whatever it is,  allow yourself to enjoy that treat. 

You will find that you look forward to the time you spend in this place.  The high frequency atmosphere will resonate with you. Not only will it become a sanctuary for you to regenerate and rejuvenate, but it might also become a favorite place to plan for your future or simply be.  This is nothing but good.

Take some time and really decide what it is you want to accomplish this year, both personally and professionally.  Actually sit down and answer the question: “what is it that I would have to accomplish, both personally and professionally, to feel satisfied at the end of the year?” Then make a list.  Actually write out at least ten different items.  If you can, list fifteen.  It can be anything from personal travel to learning a new language to paying off debt, as well as work or professional goals. 

Then pick the ten that are most important to you.  Focusing on the ten, work back to the present.  Think about, and write down, what you would have to do in each half of the year to reach these goals.  Once you figure that out, then break each of the six month tasks in to monthly action items and write them down.  Now take a look at the first month; where you are right now and do the action items you have listed in the first month.  Keep this outline somewhere convenient so you can refer to it as you need to keep on your path.    

When you reach the end of this year, you will be celebrating because you will have easily accomplished what you set out to do and very likely, more!  Go for it!

Katherine Smith Dedrick has been an attorney for almost thirty years. In 2003 received her MBA from the University of Chicago, studying in Chicago, Barcelona and Singapore. Throughout her legal career she has held numerous positions including serving on the management arm of a national law firm with over 400 lawyers, chairing a firm’s diversity committee and as partner. Katherine is currently a partner in a law firm based in Chicago and a member of a consulting company focusing on risk management and she sits as an independent trustee for a mutual fund company. Katherine will share insights from her book, “The 10 Things I Wish Someone Would Have Told Me” with a focus on networking. Get ready for a very exciting and engaging half hour!
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/networlding/2011/02/02/two-degrees-with-katherine-smith-dedrick
This episode airs at 2/2/11 7:00AMPST – 2/2/11 9:00AMCST – 2/2/11 10:00AMEST.

It is important to know.  And, if you don’t know, you need to ask.  Whether that means finding out whether you are going to get the money you think you deserve for a job well done or the new position.  If you have waited a sufficient amount of time, ask.  Many people are afraid to ask, arguing that they don’t want to appear pushy or rude.  But, typically the opposite is true.  If someone owes you an answer, and they have not given it to you, it is possible that their own schedules are daunting and they have been meaning to get back to you but have not yet either had, or made, the time.  By you reminding them, they can get one more item off of their to-do list.  So, often you are actually helping them.

But perhaps more important, you are not helping yourself or your future by not knowing.  Think about it this way, if a decision has been made, or conclusions drawn, but not yet communicated to you, it does you absolutely no good to not know what everyone else already knows about your future.  This is especially true if the decision or conclusion is not in your favor.  So, if you are not getting the raise, or the new position, how does it help you to continue down the same road, hoping and wishing and waiting, when others know it is not going to happen?  Wouldn’t you rather know so you can begin to put your energies in to your next endeavor, hopefully with people who appreciate you and your skill set?

So, just do it.  Go and ask.  Today.  Get it done.  So you can move forward with your life.

When embarking on change it is important to acknowledge a few things especially if you are feeling confused, frustrated, anxious, scared, angry or depressed. The first thing is to ask yourself is the change a result of something you wanted or the result of someone or something beyond your control.

Change happens regardless of how we feel. For most people it is easier to adjust to change when they think or feel five things: (1) in control and know what to expect (2) understands what is expected (3) has adequate and sufficient resources (4) feels confident and happy and lastly (5) experiences and notices successful improvements and results. Depending on the degree of these things often determines whether people are happy or disgruntle about change.

If in the midst of change you don’t think or feel one or more of the things above and become discouraged remember we get from one place to another one step at a time. Sometimes we have to take an alternate route because of construction. Sometimes we have to wait for the light to turn green or pause and buy gas or stop completely for a little while and get some rest. Sometimes we need to ask for help, look at our navigational equipment (GPS or map) because we are lost.

Whenever I embark upon change or find myself in the midst of change my first thoughts are, “Everything I encounter is an opportunity and my task is to be curious, alert and ready to discover what it is.”

For some people change is quick and for others change is a slower process with ups and downs and curves. For some people change is self-initiated. For others change is the result of something unexpected. Whatever the pace, whatever the change may be, there is always a certain amount of adjusting and adapting to new circumstances or situations. With all change there is always a degree of discomfort. If in the midst of change you feel disempowered you are probably mourning the past or wanting to go faster. Remember in change you are bridging the gap from the past (what was) to the present (what will be). The past is a platform from which you can build even greater things. Focus on what you are creating shedding disempowering feeling. You are never stuck anywhere permanently because you always have choices. Be curious, ready and alert and you will enjoy the process whatever it may be.

Renee Brown
Freelance Photographer, Graphic Designer and Mentor
Chief Editor of Digital Photography http://rsnapshotphotos.blogspot.com

renee-brown@sbcglobal.net
(773)634-9424
www.rSnapshotPhotos.com
http://rsnapshotphotos.smugmug.com/

There are really two halves to networking.  Each half must work together for the process to be successful and help you reach your goals.  The first is that you must be willing to meet new people and connect those you know.  (More on this in my blog, Networking: How To Do It To Achieve Your Goals and Fit Your Life).  But, of equal importance is that you must network with people who get it:  those who give back to you and so understand the art of networking.  Be careful that you don’t waste your precious time on those who take what you offer and your connections, but never give back or help you.  They are out there and there are plenty of them.  

The interesting thing about this second, yet critical half of networking, is that you often have to experiment with people to find out whether they get it, or not.  So once you have connected with someone new and done them a favor or provided them with a connection or the help they needed, and you have yet to receive any return asset from them, there are a number of strategies you can use to decide whether to continue spending your energy in this direction: 

• Make sure you have clearly stated your goals to this person…i.e., “I would like to get business from “y” and would appreciate an introduction;”
• Express your concerns to this person…i.e., “I was happy to give you “x” contact and help you out, but I also need assistance in meeting “y.”  Are you willing to introduce me or is there a reason we haven’t yet had a chance to meet?”
• Listen to this person’s response.  There are a number of tell-tale signs to look for so you can determine whether this person is simply new to networking or simply a taker and not a giver.

Networking is one of the few critical things you should do, and do well, to achieve your goals, whatever they might be — whether work, philanthropic, child oriented or simply to get tickets to a sold out event. At its core, networking is simply the willingness to meet new people and connect those you know. And, if you learn to network with your goals in mind and in the atmosphere you enjoy, you’ll find that putting people together and getting things done just happens. In fact, networking with attention on your goals is one of the most freeing and rewarding things you can set in motion.

How you chose to network is not a process set in stone. You don’t need to do it like everyone else. The key to doing it is the willingness to take chances and experience new situations. The beauty of networking, however, is that you have nothing to lose and everything to gain. One of the best things I discovered about the art of networking is that it is easiest to do it in situations and surroundings you enjoy. And, of course, the best way to make that happen is to create it.

If I could, I would do away with the thoughtless use of, phrases like, “it takes two to tango,” or “both of you should work it out.” Here’s why. More often than not, these phrases do not reflect the truth of the situation they are meant to address. Instead, they allow the party whose actions caused the state of affairs to skate, responsibility-free, from the destruction he or she caused. I can think of countless examples where this is true, from the extreme, to the everyday. For instance, in my opinion, a person who is bullied should not be blamed for the aggressor’s conduct. Yet, we have all heard judgments from others about the victims like, they “allowed” the bullying to happen or they are easy targets. How about the person who cheats on his or her significant other? There are countless examples of this type of conduct showcased in the media. Often, the non-cheater is blamed for his or her part in not making the cheater happy or satisfied.

In fact, the truth is that it often only takes one a..hole. And once that person has caused destruction, he or she should not get a pass by having the witnessing world force the other person to share responsibility for the shameful behavior. The thoughtless use of these phrases allows the aggressor to act however he or she wants and frees him or her from experiencing any consequences. This is neither a good lesson for the aggressor nor good example for others.

But, perhaps of utmost importance is the fact that these phrases can further devastate the victim who was on the receiving end of the bad conduct in the first instance, and is now being forced to take part of the blame. There are times when these “share the blame” phrases are warranted. But the key is to be careful how they are used as thoughtless use can cause further harm to the victim. A double whammy, of sorts.

When you are worried about something, there comes a point in time where you need to just let the worry go and open up to the future. Realize that if you have done all you can do to handle an issue, problem or situation, then what good does it do to worry? My father taught me this one and when you buy into the wisdom of it, it is rather comforting.

In other words, when you have a problem, if there are actions you can take that might fix or change things, then take action. Because if you don’t, you will always wonder, “what if I had taken that extra step?” More importantly, you will add guilt to the worry because you will know, in your heart of hearts, that there was more you could have done to change the course of events and you did not taking action.

However, if you have done all that you can do, you are at that point in time when you should realize that there is nothing more you can do to change the course of events. The outcome is now in the hands of the universe. All you can do is sit back and watch things happen. So, why worry? Let it go. Focus on all that is going on around you. And enjoy the show!

Welcome to my guest blogger, Renee Brown. Please enjoy the following blog contribution–  insights on something very common and relevant to most of us . . . frustration.

……………….

Have you ever worked on something new and felt frustration? Did you know thatfrustration is your friend? Frustration is an emotional friend saying you are in need some kind of assistance. When you begin to feel overwhelmed, angry, impatient or fear you are dealing with a foe. These unchecked emotions thwart creativity, productivity and success. For many it’s the reason they never finish something they started.

An early warning sign frustration is changing into something else is when people begin holding their breath for longer then normal periods of time. This sends less oxygen to the brain. The brain begins to function less effectively. The body also tightens and becomes stressed. Anger begins to set in. People tend to pound their hands on their head, desk or worst case throw things. Negative thinking begins swirling in their head, “I can’t do this,” or “forget it!” or “What the …….?” In this state of mind two things can happen; (1) You resolve the issue after an extended period of time along with experiencing a tremendous amount of mental and physical stress or (2) you throw in the towel.

In the early moments of feeling frustration remember to breathe, acknowledge its presence and ask yourself; (1) Are you feeling worried or impatient? (2) Do you need the help of someone more knowledgeable or experienced? (3) Is there something you forgot? or (3) Are you are tired? Remember a calm head on your shoulders is an important key to creative solutions and success.

If your frustration turns into a counterproductive state immediately disconnect mentally and emotionally from the task. Sometimes as little as 15-30 minutes is sufficient time away. If you are tired get some rest. If you just need to relax, do something you enjoy, something that makes you laugh. What is important is to completely disconnect from the task. Monitor your breathing! If you are holding your breath for intervals you are not disconnected, you are preoccupied with the task. If you don’t know how to change your breathing go for a 15-20 minute run or fast walk. For you smokers, try exercise rather then inhaling nicotine.

During or after your break what you needed often pops into your head or someone will say something that will trigger a solution or idea. You will ask yourself, why didn’t I think of this before? You couldn’t, your brain wasn’t getting sufficient oxygen. You were in a swirling pool of negative thinking, anger and anxiety. All of which are counterproductive.

Remember when you feel frustration it’s important to monitor your state of being and ask yourself the three questions. If you catch yourself in the counterproductive state, remember to take a break. In the end you save yourself mental and physical stress and time. You also gain confidence and make successful headways.

Renee Brown, Freelance Photographer and Graphic Designer
renee-brown@sbcglobal.net (773)634-9424
www.rSnapshotPhotos.com,      http://rsnapshotphotos.smugmug.com/